Lavi's Real Name is Dr Love
by ColonelSexypants
Summary: Lavi is so damn convinced that Kanda and Allen need to admit their 'undying love' to each other that he locks them in Kanda's room and forces them to stay there until they 'kiss and make up'. Literally. Allen is confused, Kanda is annoyed, Lenalee is a crazy fangirl and Lavi is a troll. Sort of crack, sort of fluff and obviously, Yullen. Rated for language and implied sex


**This was written as I lay here dying because well my lungs decided they were gonna say "BYE GURRLLL" and stop working properly so I am like high on Motrin and faint from lack of oxygen and feeling like I'm going to die so it probably sucks. Also I've never written Yullen before. I tried, but I sucked. SO this probably sucks. Ah, well. If no one likes it, I can always delete it off the surface of this planet :)**

**No flames please! I'm already probably dying (seriously, I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE AND THE EMERGENCY ROOM WAS LIKE LOL GO HOME YOU HAVE INFLAMED MUSCLES AND NERVES BETWEEN YOUR RIBS WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT) so yeah I'm just struggling to breathe and ahhh my brain is all derp from lack of oxygen ...**

**I don't own D Gray Man or its characters! But damn, if I had myself a Kanda... **

**Beware: It's ultimately stupid at some moments and Lavi is a troll**

It was like any other day at the Black Order headquarters. Komui was going between sleeping on his desk, having imaginary conversations on his desk phone and conducting science experiments, much to the dismay of Reever and co., who were trying to get work done. Lenalee was delivering coffee and gathering books for everyone working in that department and trying her best to calm the havoc her brother's carelessness induced. Lavi was on one side of the room, berating an annoyed Bookman who was attempting to read by trying to convince him to wear a panda suit. In a corner, Krory was sitting on the floor in front of a pane of glass, tongue stuck out in determination as he tried to find out a way to make his hair stand up with gel and without using his Innocence. Miranda was cleaning her clock with Windex, talking nervously to a frazzled Johnny and tripping over her own feet.

Allen couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he walked down the halls, greeting exorcists and finders alike as he passed by. He could still scarcely believe that this chaotic place was his home now, and that these crazy people were his family. Every morning when he woke up, he never knew what to expect.

This morning, he was heading down to the dining hall, going as fast down the circular hallway as he could without actually running. He could hear the yelling and shouting from the lower floor where the command room was over the sound of his stomach grumbling and laughed quietly to himself. It seemed like today was a peaceful day; almost everyone he knew seemed to be here. He was distracted as his stomach growled, louder this time. He was starving. Mornings were the worst.

"Allen!"

Allen looked back upon hearing the familiar female voice. "Oh, hi, Lenalee. What's up?"

Lenalee smiled at him then grimaced as she raised the empty tray in her hands. "I need more coffee. My brother is being a lunatic and the others haven't had enough caffeine to deal with him yet," she said, laughing.

"I can understand," Allen said with a chuckle.

Lenalee shook her head as the ruckus from her brother and his workers became even louder. "My god," she said with a hint of irritation. "Do they have to be so loud?"

Allen laughed. "You're not used to it yet?"

"Oh, I am. That doesn't make it any less annoying though."

Laughing, they walked into the dining hall together. They parted ways, Lenalee heading over to the coffee machines and Allen hurrying to Jerry to order his usual copious amounts of food. Jerry was delighted to see him, as usual, all but squealing in joy as Allen asked for eleven different things.

"Oh, and can you add a chocolate sundae?" Allen called when Jerry began wandering back into the kitchen to make the food.

"Of course I can, sweetie!"

Allen grinned and leaned on the wall, reaching over to grab a random Black Order newspaper from a small bin on the place Jerry took orders. He grimaced upon seeing the title page. "Another akuma attack," he muttered to himself, throwing the paper back into the bin. If he wasn't so hungry, he probably would have lost his appetite.

Jerry was already back with his food. "Alleeen~! Come get it!"

"Oh, thanks," Allen said with a smile.

"You gonna need any help?" Jerry asked in concern as Allen balanced the three trays in his arms.

"I'm fine, thanks," Allen said.

"Have a good day then, honey! See you at lunch?"

"You bet," Allen grinned. He turned and walked towards the tables, looking for somewhere to sit or a familiar face. At this time, most people were either still asleep, working or in the case of his friends being idiots downstairs. Only two tables were taken by some finders and the rest were empty. He didn't really want to sit with them, since he didn't know any of them and a lot of the finders had sore spots when it came to the exorcists. He was heading to an empty table with his many trays when he spotted someone familiar sitting alone at the table at the back of the room. He hesitated.

"No," he said to himself after a moment of consideration. "He'll probably try to kill me."

"Oh, you bet he will."

Allen jumped, nearly dropping his food. He looked back. "Jeez, Lavi!"

"Sorry." The redhead grinned. "I gave up on bugging the panda and decided to come see what you were up to." His green eyes drifted to one of Allen's trays. "Say... Is that that chilli thing Jerry makes sometimes?"

"Yeah, it was the last one. Want it?"

Lavi looked ashamed. "Oh, no. It's yours."

Allen laughed. "Take it. I have more than enough." His stomach groaned pitifully and he said, "Ignore that. You can have it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, just take it,"

Lavi did, looking like a child that had just been given candy. "Thanks, Allen. Sometimes I just love you."

Allen laughed again. "Good to know," he said.

Lavi grinned. "So, you gonna sit with Yu?"

Allen looked confused. "Yeah, I'm gonna sit with me."

"Not you, Yu."

"Um..."

"Kanda?"

"Oh! Right! Duh." Allen flushed and shook his head. "No, well, I was thinking about it, but, well, he hates me. Don't know what I ever did..."

"He doesn't hate you. He's an asshole to everyone."

"More to me," Allen grumbled.

"Nah, I think he just worries about you, and getting mad at you is his weird way of showing it."

"Worries about me?" Allen echoed. "Why?"

"You're careless, you don't like people helping you and you think everything lies on your shoulders. He thinks your determination borders on stupidity and recklessness."

"Oh."

"Trust me, I can Yu like a book."

"Me?"

"No, I meant—well, actually, yeah. You and him. Both of you are so freakin' easy to understand."

"I guess you would know this stuff," Allen said, still clearly unsure. "I dunno, though... I'm not in the mood for a fight with him today."

"I ain't forcin' ya. Sit where you want, I'll sit with you."

Allen debated it again, staring at the Japanese exorcist. After a moment, he sighed and said, "Fine. But you have to come with me."

Lavi grinned mischievously. "Why don't you want to sit with him alone?"

Allen gave him a strange look. "Because it would be awkward."

"Hm... I think you just like him."

"What?" Allen sputtered. "That's really—um, no. I don't."

"Okay then~" Lavi said sceptically. He started walking. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah." Allen followed Lavi as the approached the table, slowly, like they were nearing a dangerous predator. Kanda looked over at them for a moment, glared, then looked back down at his noodles. Lavi nudged Allen.

"That means he doesn't care. Come on." He all but dragged Allen along, flinging him into the seat across from Kanda before flopping down next to him. Allen glared for a moment since he nearly dropped his food, but Lavi didn't notice.

"Hiya, Yu."

Kanda's glare didn't waver. "Why are you sitting with me?"

"Allen wanted to~"

"Oh really?" Kanda stared at the huge pile of food Allen had with his usual look of disgust. Allen began to eat.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just... why aren't you morbidly obese?"

"I don't know."

"Huh..."

It fell silent, then Lavi suddenly piped up, "So, Allen saw you sitting alone and you should've seen him standing there all cute and indecisive. 'Hmm, should I go sit with Kanda and risk getting murdered for approaching his soba noodles, or sit alone?'" Lavi said in a falsetto, making a pouty face. He then grinned and leaned forward on his elbows. "He chose to risk his life to come sit with you! Isn't he just the sweetest?"

"Shut up!" Allen squeaked. "You're making me sound... ugh."

Kanda raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He silently went back to eating his noodles, and Allen immediately felt immensely awkward. He looked over at Lavi with an accusing glare and hissed, "God, Lavi, you made it sound like I'm this love struck school girl or something—"

"You are!"

"Am not! I am not a girl! Plus I'm not love struck, that doesn't even make sense."

"Yes it does~"

"I don't usually resort to violence, but I will punch you, Lavi."

"That there is what we more intelligent people call 'denial'."

"Denial? What am I denying?"

"You undying love for Kanda!"

Allen nearly choked on the rice he was swallowing. "What the heck?"

"Deniaaaalll~"

"No, I—"

"You—"

"Lavi—"

"—love—"

"_Lavi, I swear—"_

"—Kanda!"

"What the heck is your—"

"You guys know I can hear you, right?" Kanda cut in flatly.

Allen turned red and Lavi just grinned. "You got something different today!" he said. Allen was unsure whether to be grateful to Lavi for changing the subject or annoyed at him for bringing it up in the first place.

"Oh, so he did," Allen said. Kanda did have his usual noodles, but mixed in with them were long, almost translucent white things. "What are those?"

Kanda didn't answer, suddenly looking uncomfortable. Lavi grinned widely.

"Those," he said, "are—"

"Moyashi," Kanda suddenly snapped, drowning out the rest of Lavi's sentence.

Alarmed, Allen asked, "What?"

Kanda muttered something in Japanese. "Nothing," he said.

"Oh," Allen said. "Okay then."

It became quiet again and Kanda began to relax from when he'd snapped earlier. Then Lavi blurted, "Those are bean sprouts."

Allen gave him a blank look as Kanda shut his eyes angrily. "Oh?" Allen asked. "What's the big deal about bean sprouts?"

"Moyashi," Lavi said.

Allen looked even more confused. "Okay, so what?"

"Lavi," Kanda said shortly.

"Allen," Lavi said, ignoring as Kanda slowly turned redder and looked more and more pissed off. "Don't you know any Japanese?"

"Not really," Allen shook his head. "I know, um... _konichiwa, hai, arigato..._"

"Ohh." Lavi grinned even wider. "Well, _moyashi_ means—"

"Lavi!" Kanda snapped.

"Moyashi means bean sprout!"

Kanda stared fuming at his noodles. Lavi sat there grinning. Allen looked confused, until it suddenly dawned on him. "So, wait... you're calling me a bean sprout, then? I'm not that short. You're not even three inches taller than I am."

"..."

"Hehe." Lavi was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Allen still seemed sort of lost. "Okay, so he's eating bean sprouts and I'm a bean sprout? What's the big deal?"

Lavi leaned in. "Don't you get it?"

"Shut up if you want to keep living Lavi, I swear to god."

"Kanda doesn't eat bean sprouts usually. That must mean something right?"

"Um... I guess..."

"Your logic is flawed," Kanda said. "Maybe I just wanted a change."

"Okay there, mister noodles." Lavi stuck his tongue out and Kanda looked as though he wanted to rip it off. "We all know that's a lie."

"I just... the only thing I can get from what you're saying is that Kanda wants to eat me, which is crazy. He's not a cannibal." He looked at Kanda with wide silver eyes. "Right?"

Kanda looked like he was resisting the urge to slam his face into the table. "Right," he muttered.

"Oh Allen, you're so innocent it's cute," Lavi said, chuckling. "Of course Kanda wants to _eat_ you... but not _actually_."

Kanda stood up, unsheathing Mugen before Lavi could even blink. "Stop talking, or I will slice your throat open and leave you to bleed out and die." He pressed the blade closer to Lavi's throat, and the redhead held his hands up. Allen jumped up and grabbed Kanda's arm from across the table.

"So I'm a little confused," he admitted, "but calm down. Don't hurt Lavi, or I'll hurt _you_."

Kanda flushed again and was opening his mouth to snap something back when Lavi whistled. "Woooo. Allen, I don't know if I'd say that. Kanda might like it~"

"Shut up. Shut _up."_

"How about you _both_ shut up?" Lenalee yelled as she suddenly appeared behind them, giving all three of them hard smacks to the back of the head. They all looked back, eyes wide. She had her hands on her hips and looked very, very annoyed. "Is there _no one_ here who can be quiet for longer than a few seconds? Even you, Kanda! Everyone is staring and we could hear you from two floors down!" She huffed. "What is going on?"

"Lavi said Kanda is a cannibal."

Lenalee looked curiously at Lavi. "What?"

"I did _not_ say Kanda is a cannibal. I said he wants to eat Allen because Allen in a bean sprout!"

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal about my choice of breakfast," Kanda said icily, still holding his sword to Lavi's throat. "Maybe I just like the way bean sprouts taste." Lavi grinned, and Kanda realized what he'd said. Sneering, he snapped, "_Not_ like _that_, for fuck's sake!"

Lenalee grabbed the arm that Allen wasn't holding. "Kanda!"

"Will you two let go of me?"

"I don't entirely know what's going on, here, but you need to calm down, Kanda," Lenalee said calmly. "This is probably one of the stupider arguments you guys have had."

"I think this is just a misunderstanding," Lavi said. "You see, all I'm trying to do is make them admit their undying love for each other."

"Undying—" Allen squeaked.

"Love?" Kanda finished flatly. "Not likely."

Lenalee looked back and forth between them. "Now that you mention it, Lavi... They _do_ argue like an old married couple and they're pretty fiercely protective of each other."

"What?" Allen demanded. "Why would you say that? Whenever we fight together, Kanda makes it perfectly clear that he'd kill me if that's what it took to finish the mission!"

"And I would," Kanda growled. "This is tiresome. Let me go."

"But think about it!" Lenalee protested. "The missions could have required that so many times but you always end up helping Allen, Kanda! And Allen, the times Kanda got hurt, you didn't leave him even if it put your own life in danger."

"Exactly!" Lavi said, beaming. "I'm glad _someone_ here isn't a complete thick-headed idiot!"

"Th-that—" Allen stuttered. "That's so—of course I wouldn't leave him to die! I wouldn't leave anyone!"

"And the only reason I help stupid Moyashi is because I pity his patheticness."

"I'm not pathetic, asshole!"

"Ooh," Kanda said coolly, raising an eyebrow. "Using big words now, are we?"

"Forget it," Allen seethed, yanking Kanda's sword hand away from Lavi. "This is ridiculous."

"Oh god, there is so much denial in this room!" Lavi cried, backing out of Kanda's reach now that he was free.

"There is no denial!"Allen and Kanda yelled at the same time.

"Shut up!" Lenalee shouted. "That's it. Lavi, I believe this calls for an intervention."

"What?" Allen asked nervously as Lavi nodded in a sullen way.

"Sorry to have to do this, Allen," Lavi said, grabbing the other exorcist's arms and tearing his grip off of Kanda's arm. Allen struggled but Lavi was stronger and all it did was make Lavi stumble a bit.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. He looked over to Lenalee, who had Kanda held captive in a similar position. Allen wondered vaguely why Kanda didn't just tear out of Lenalee's grip instead of the feeble attempts to flee he was currently doing, but decided it must be because Lenalee was a girl and Kanda had some loose sense of morality. Apparently, even he wouldn't hit a girl. Since Allen wouldn't hit anyone and Kanda would almost surely beat the hell out of Lavi, he realized that Lavi and Lenalee were evil geniuses in their two-second formulated plan.

"It's so sad that we have to take such drastic measures," Lavi said, sounding honestly disappointed. "I really didn't think you guys would be so stubborn."

"Stubborn about something that doesn't even exist?" Kanda grumbled.

"Yeah, I think you guys are a bit crazy," Allen agreed as Lavi began dragging him towards the rooms. "I don't have any idea where you're getting this whole supposed idea that I love _him_…"

"Trust me, the feeling's mutual, Moyashi," Kanda snapped. "Damn it, Lenalee, let go of me!"

"Not a chance!"

"Lavi!" Allen whined.

"No way!"

Allen fell silent in defeat, realizing that Lavi and Lenalee were too stubborn to sway. Kanda seemed to do the same, although he kept grumbling curses Allen had never even thought of before under his breath.

They stopped in front of a room that Allen instantly recognized. "Why are we at Kanda's room?"

"Don't even think—" Kanda started before Lenalee kicked open the door and shoved him in. He stumbled for a moment and turned around to try and storm out. He might have succeeded if not for a panicked looking Allen flying right at him. His eyes widened.

"Bye guys!" Lavi chirped as they fell to the ground in a graceless heap, slamming the door shut.

"Damn it!" Kanda cursed, rubbing his head which had smacked against the ground when Allen fell on him. He opened his eyes and saw Allen looking down at him, silver eyes wide and a flush on his face. For a second he stared, unsure why he wasn't moving, and Allen just looked more embarrassed.

"Sorry—" he started.

Kanda snapped out of it. "Get off," he said, shoving Allen off of him.

Allen glared. "What is your problem?"

Kanda didn't answer and walked to the door, wiggling the door knob. A scowl appeared on his face. "They locked it from the outside."

"Yep!" came Lavi's cheerful voice. "And we won't let you out until you've kissed and made up!"

"Literally," Lenalee added with a short giggle.

"Evil," Allen said in a hollow voice. "They're evil."

Kanda let out a growl between clenched teeth, reaching for Mugen. "I'll break down the—" He faltered when his hand met empty air instead of the handle of his sword. "Where the hell—"

"Looking for your sword?" Lenalee sang. "Oh, it's in good hands. Don't worry~"

"Kanda, it's fine," Allen said, standing up. He stood next to the Japanese exorcist. "You really want to break down the door? I'm not objecting."

"Yeah–well, I mean, I guess it's not that big of a deal…"

Allen stared. "Excuse me?" he asked, unsure if he'd heard right.

"I said," Kanda said slowly, as though talking to an uncomprehending child, "it's not that big of a deal." His eyes flicked to the door and he lowered his voice. "If all we have to do to get out is 'kiss and make up', we can fake it. They can't see. They'll never know the difference."

Allen flushed. "I guess you're right, but you know, I really wouldn't care if we broke the door…" He raised his left arm. "I can do it, you know."

"I know," Kanda said impatiently. "But it's my room and I don't really want to have no door."

"You were about to break it down yourself."

"I was angry and wasn't thinking straight."

"You're always angry," Allen said under his breath.

"I heard that, and that's not true. You're just too annoying for your own good," Kanda muttered back. He cleared his throat then spoke louder. "All we have to do is make up?"

"Yeah!" Lavi shouted. "Oh, and don't try to fake it."

"What?" Kanda blanched. "Why would—"

"Lenalee went to the security room and did you know that there are special cameras hidden in each room in case of suspicious activity? They're usually off, but Lenalee knows how to turn 'em on whenever she likes."

Allen had a look of utter doom on his face. "That's an invasion of privacy," he said weakly.

"I know. But I for one am sick and tired of your guys' denial and you're gonna make up whether you like it or not."

Kanda had gone over to his bed and was now flopped down face first in defeat. Allen looked at him for a moment, then back to the door. "Please, Lavi?" he tried. He made his voice sound like he was going to cry. "Please? Let us out, I swear we won't fight anymore, right Kanda?"

"Drop it," Kanda muttered. "Stupid rabbit won't listen to a word you say."

"You guys can't _watch_—"

"Why?" Lavi asked, grinning jeeringly by the tone in his voice. "What do you think is going to happen, Allen? All you have to do is make up."

Allen turned bright red. "I don't— that's not what I'm saying, I just mean, that's a huge invasion of privacy! I won't be able to have a proper conversation knowing that someone is listening and watching!"

"Don't worry, Allen, we'll turn off the camera if anything happens~"

Allen's sound of ultimate embarrassment was drowned out by a loud BANG and Lavi's 'eep!' as Kanda violently chucked a boot at the door. "You sick fuck," he yelled. "Get away from my door!"

Lavi snickered and skipped off, boots squeaking down the hallway and fading until they became nothing. Allen stood staring blankly at the door.

"I can't believe they would do this…" he said weakly, sounding betrayed.

"They think it's for our own good," Kanda said in disgust.

Allen swallowed and turned around. _I hate this. I am going to die in this room. I won't even ever get the chance to see Timcanpy ever again. _He vaguely wondered where the golden golem was, but decided he had other things to worry about. _Like the fact that Kanda's right there and I... ugh, I want to punch something._ Since Allen was a gentleman, however, he refrained from doing so and just clenched his fists instead.

Well, he was going to be stuck here for a while, so he might as well suck it up and have a look around. The room was dark, the only light coming from the slightly open dark blue curtains over the window, and a faint pink glow from a lotus flower in a glass container on the desk in the corner. Allen wondered about it, but decided with Kanda, it was better not to ask. He knew him well enough to know he didn't like talking about personal things, and plus, just because he didn't have Mugen, Allen knew Kanda would not hesitate to initiate an attack if Allen pissed him off. So he bit his tongue and kept looking.

The room was mostly devoid of any personal belongings besides a couple hair elastics and books strewn across the night table. Allen tried to read the titles, but they were in Japanese, so he gave up. The bed was the same as Allen's; a double with white sheets and black blankets, but whereas Allen's was usually made, Kanda's was the only messy part of his room.

Of course, on top of the rumpled black and white sheets was Kanda, now laying on his back with his arm over his eyes. Allen noticed that there was a tiny 'v' between his thin eyebrows, and his lips were drawn into a hard, tight line. He seemed to have accepted that he was going to be here for a while too, and had taken the elastic out, and his inky black hair was now strewn messily over the white pillows. Allen had never seen Kanda in such a casual state, despite the fact that the Japanese man looked tense like a coil ready to snap. His stomach felt funny.

He found himself looking at Kanda's long hair, and wondering vaguely what it would feel like. He'd touched it once before, he remembered, when they were in a fight once and he'd had to drag a wounded Kanda to a safe place. He'd taken the snapped elastic out of his tangled hair and let the half-up ponytail fall, but that had been in a rushed state of hysteria and adrenaline and he couldn't really remember anything except Kanda snapping at him to leave and keep fighting and stop being such a "fucking stupid time-wasting selfish Moyashi, thinking you can save everyone, idiot!" before losing consciousness. Allen remembered panicking and thinking he was dead, and thinking that that couldn't happen, that Kanda had to live or else _Allen_ would die and he'd lose Kanda to the akuma and _panic and hysteria and terror_—

"What the hell are you looking at?" Kanda asked shortly, sitting up now and staring at Allen. Allen snapped out of the bad memory, flushing. _His eyes look really blue right now. It must be the lighting. They're pretty._ He stared for another moment then suddenly shook himself._ Wait, what the heck am I thinking?_He quickly looked away.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I zoned out." _What on earth was I thinking? I always knew Kanda had blue eyes. _"I guess I was sort of staring at your hair. Sorry." _What the heck, Allen? _

Kanda furrowed his brows. He was sort of vain about his hair, Allen remembered. "My hair?"

"Yeah. I didn't really… pay attention, I just sort of, um…"

"Whatever," Kanda sighed, laying back down. "Honestly, I'm at a point right now where I'm so beyond annoyed that I don't care." He paused, then added almost as an afterthought, "You can touch it, if you want."

Allen was shocked. "Uh… are you sure? I mean, you usually kill people who try to touch your hair…"

Kanda shot him a glare. "If you want to, do it now before I change my mind."

This was probably to make Lenalee and Lavi, who were no doubt watching them right now, think they were making an effort to get along, Allen thought. And he _knew _ why was he so damn nervous?

Nodding, he walked over to Kanda's bed, half-expecting the man to attack him as he gingerly sat on the edge. Kanda's eyes were shut and he still had that little crease between his eyebrows. Allen couldn't help but smile a bit. He was glad Kanda was making an effort. Hesitantly, he reached out, running his fingers through a strand of soft black hair.

It was softer than he had expected. He wondered how Kanda kept it so perfect, since it was always up in a ponytail and he was always fighting and Allen knew from the awkward times in the showers together that all he used on it was soap. The ends weren't even frayed a bit, he noticed when he reached the end and let it flutter back down to the bed. Kanda's eyes were still closed, but he didn't look so tense now. If anything, he looked...relaxed. Wordlessly, Allen ran his fingers through a thicker strand, realizing with a start how fast his heart was beating. He stopped immediately, fingers freezing mid-strand.

Kanda's dark blue eyes opened. "What's wrong?"

Allen's throat felt tight. "Nothing," he said nervously. _What's wrong with me?_ "Sorry," he said, stronger this time. "I, uh... I thought I was going to sneeze."

Kanda looked at him suspiciously. "That was a really bad lie."

"It wasn't a lie," Allen protested.

Kanda scoffed. "Whatever. I don't care anyways."

"Of course not," Allen mumbled, rolling his eyes.

They fell silent again, and Allen was unsure whether or not to keep stroking Kanda's hair. Then he remembered the relaxed look on his face earlier and started again, wanting to see it again for some reason he couldn't really understand. Kanda didn't close his eyes but instead stared up at the ceiling. Allen wondered if Kanda felt as strange as he did. It didn't feel normal being in each others' company without one of their usual disagreements.

"This is so weird," Kanda muttered suddenly, answering Allen's unspoken question. "Lavi and Lenalee are watching."

"It's not like... we're doing anything wrong," Allen said, choking slightly on his words. He flushed.

"I know. But we're not fighting. And you're playing with my hair." Kanda almost sounded amused. "It's like we're a couple of girls having a stupid sleepover..."

Allen snorted. "Hey, at least I look like a guy. You could pass for a girl."

Kanda shot him one of the deadliest glares Allen had ever seen in his entire life. "Take that back, Moyashi."

"Fine. You look like a guy, but a very girly one."

Kanda looked like he was about to argue, but instead let out an angry sigh. "Whatever, pipsqueak."

"My_ name_ is Allen_._"

"Right, Moyashi."

"Oh God, whatever. Call me whatever you want then."

Kanda smirked. "Isn't that what I usually do?"

"You're an asshole," Allen informed him, but he was laughing. He realized with a start how weird that was. He stopped immediately. "Um."

"What? You can't laugh?"

"No," Allen protested. "But I don't want to laugh if you don't even smile. Plus, this is so weird it just feels like I'm going to get struck by lightning."

"Because you're laughing?"

"Because we're not fighting. We're teasing, which is a whole different thing."

"Huh."

Allen didn't say anything. He had never been around Kanda and have the man be so placid and calm, even... relaxed. His eyes weren't as hard as usual and he almost had a Kanda-smile—which meant he wasn't scowling. It was a nice change, Allen had to say, and he found that he kind of... liked Kanda like this. _Whaaaaaat._

"Why do you hate me so much anyways?" he asked before he could stop himself. He bit his tongue. Crap, he really didn't want to know. _Damn, Allen, what the heck is wrong with you? You get locked in a room with Kanda and everything goes on a downward spiral? Snap out of it!_

Kanda let out a long sigh. "I don't know. I just do."

Allen's eyebrows drew together. "That's not a reason."

"I know," Kanda said testily, "but I don't really know why I hate you. You're selfish and you think you can do everything by yourself. You're naive. You're just... annoying."

Allen knew the feeling. "Yeah, and you piss me off with your whole holier-than-thou attitude. I get that you have a complicated past, but so do I, and I try to smile and be nice. You just go around and push people away and be a complete asshole for now reason." He frowned. "Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, I could actually like you."

"Maybe if you weren't such an annoying, self-righteous, stubborn and stupid Moyashi I could like you too. Sucks, doesn't it?"

Allen rolled his eyes at the sarcasm dripping in Kanda's voice. "That's what I hate right there."

"Well, deal with it, because if you don't we're stuck in here even longer."

Allen bit his tongue. Kanda was right, and he wanted to get out of here and get away from this awkward, strange pressure in his chest. He didn't know what to make of it, but knew it was because of being stuck in here with Kanda. He wanted to put it off as annoyance, but he knew that wasn't it._ Allen. Stop. Thinking. You're falling into a deep shithole here. _The worse thing about that was that he didn't even really feel like digging himself out. _God, Kanda. I hate you. Oh Christ I hate you so much for being so... you._

Kanda was looking up at him, smirking. "You're trying so hard not to get mad, aren't you?"

"No," Allen said shortly. He was still idly stroking Kanda's hair and had half a mind to yank on it. _I should. _But he didn't, because he was a gentleman, and gentlemen didn't do that.

"Yeah, you are."

"Are you always this annoying when you're not being a jerk? If you are, I think I'm gonna have to rethink the whole 'gee, I might be able to actually tolerate Kanda' thing."

Kanda rolled his eyes. "Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?"

"No, because if I wanted to hurt your feelings that would imply that I cared enough to try," Allen snapped. Kanda smirked, and Allen realized something. "You were just trying to make me mad, weren't you?" he accused. _Why does he make my heart beat like this? What the fuck? No, Allen, don't. Mana hated those words. _Allen couldn't really help it though, and muttered as an afterthought, "Asshole." _God, I hate you, Kanda._

"No, because that would imply I cared enough about _you_."

"You are such an incredible jerk." Allen felt himself getting angrier.

"You're just soft."

"Why did I even _think_ for a _second _that I wanted you?"

Kanda didn't answer, but sat up suddenly instead. Allen jumped away, heart thumping madly. "What the heck?" he demanded.

"What did you just say?" Kanda asked darkly.

"I..." Allen faltered. What _had _he said? _What the heck? Why did I say I want him? I hate him. Well, hate is a strong word... I just really, really dislike him. No... I... _ "I don't know."

Kanda looked around the room as though searching for something. He glared up at a small black thing in the corner. Allen followed his gaze.

"What's that?" he asked, trying to move the subject away from their current one.

"It's that stupid camera," Kanda said under his breath.

Allen stood up. "I'm going to destroy it."

"Don't." Kanda grabbed his wrist.

Allen looked at him, confused and trying not to stare at Kanda's fingers around his wrist. "Why not?"

Kanda lowered his voice so that the camera wouldn't be able to catch it. "They're still watching us and they won't unlock the door until we 'kiss and make up'. I, for one, am sick of being stuck in here with you, so," he none-too-gently forced Allen to sit again, "we're going to get out."

Allen suddenly felt a strange mix of prickling dread and weird flutters in his stomach. He couldn't make himself look away from Kanda's irritated blue eyes. _Allen. Walker_. What_ is _wrong _with you?_

"What... do you mean?" he asked slowly, moving away.

"I _mean_," Kanda said impatiently, still in a hushed voice, "we're going to give them exactly what they want."

Allen turned beet red. "You're not saying—"

"Look, I don't want to either." Kanda wouldn't meet his eyes.

"It's not that I don't w_ant to_," Allen blurted. He covered his mouth, eyes widening as Kanda looked up at him with a strange look. "Um, I mean, I don't, but—"

"You want to kiss me?" Kanda asked. Allen's insides suddenly felt a lot like jelly and he wondered half-hysterically why Kanda didn't sound disgusted or furious. _Fuck that, why don't _I _feel disgusted or furious?_

"Walker," Kanda snapped when Allen didn't answer.

"No!" Allen protested, cheeks hot. _Of course I don't want to!_ "Don't be stupid!" He tore his wrist out of Kanda's grasp and tried to get up, without a destination in mind, but Kanda smoothly stood up and stood in front of him.

"Kanda, just—" Allen realized just then how close they were, and felt something like a nervous shiver run down his spine. _Oh, God. No. I don't want him. He should put his hair up. It's really distracting. Has he always looked like that? God I want to punch that stupid sneer off of his face. _ "Ugh, damn it. Get _away_ from me."

"Fine then," Kanda said, roughly pushing Allen back onto the bed. Allen looked up at him and looked like he was going to angrily yell something but Kanda didn't give him the chance. "Pretend like I just told you I like you," he whispered. "I don't want to be fucking stuck in here anymore either. Do it."

Allen's eyes widened. "What?" he hissed. "If I do that, then we'll have to pretend we actually like each other." He didn't know why saying that hurt so much but he tried to ignore it, because he didn't _want_ it to hurt. _Why does it hurt? I can't believe that I—I—_ He couldn't even bring himself to finish the thought and yet he knew with a sudden dreadful clarity that it was true.

Kanda just stared at him with a blank look. Allen swallowed. His throat felt pasty and he felt like he wanted to throw up, but it was really just a weird clenching his stomach made because of what Kanda's silence was saying.

"Wait..." he said hesitantly. "Do you...?"

"No," Kanda said icily. "Don't be _stupid_."

"You're imitating me," Allen realized. "Kanda—"

"Shut the hell up and do what I said," Kanda interrupted, not meeting his eyes.

That was it. Allen understood body language well enough to know that there was something Kanda wasn't telling him, and he was going to find out what. He stood up so that he was directly in front of Kanda. He put his hands on his hips and yelled, "Will you stop being such a fucking asshole for _one minute_?" Kanda looked shocked and Allen put a hand to his forehead, shutting his eyes angrily and turning his back. _This is too much for one day. I can't deal with knowing I want _Kanda_ and stay in the same room as him. _"I'm going to lose my shit."

"Moyashi—"

"I'm confused, I'm scared and I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on in my head right now and it doesn't help that you're being so... so... _goddamn cynical_!" Allen damn near punched the wall out and had to clench his left fist hard in order to resist. "I don't know why. I hate you so bad and I _know_ you're a jerk but for some stupid reason all I want to do is—" He faltered, his mind catching up to his mouth.

"All you want to do is what?" Kanda's voice was almost like a challenge.

"Kiss you!" Allen yelled. It almost physically hurt to admit it, because it felt like he was betraying himself, but it was like he couldn't control what was coming out of his mouth. _I don't know why I didn't realize it sooner,_ he thought madly. _I could have been more prepared for this, could have learnt to deal with it before something like this happened. _But now it had, and he couldn't take it back, and even though he knew Kanda would most likely kill him now, a part of him didn't care. Some sort of pressure in his chest had been released the moment he'd admitted it.

"There, I said it, and now you can be disgusted. I don't _care_ anymore," he said, voice wavering. "I don't _want_ to want you. I can't control this. I know you have someone you're looking for and someone who is more special to you than anyone could ever hope to be. But apparently I can't grasp that because I _still_ decide to _want you_ and no matter what I do I can't get you out of my _head, damnit—_ All I understand is that I hate you, but I love it. I love to hate you." His words seemed to echo, and then it fell completely silent. Allen was still facing the wall. He was almost afraid to look back.

Even after what seemed like an eternity of the world holding its breath, the attack and disgust he was expecting never came. When he nervously turned Kanda's way, he was shocked to see the look of absolute disbelief on his face, and a very uncharacteristic flush.

Allen's stomach did an involuntary flutter. "Kanda?"

"Y-you—" Then the look quickly replaced with the usual scowl, but it wasn't as convincing as normal. He almost looked uncertain, eyes wider and not as hard as Allen was used to. "You love to hate me. Is that your twisted way of saying you love me?"

"I... I guess."

"Huh," Kanda murmured. "Didn't think you'd ever admit it."

Allen's throat went tight. "What are you saying?"

"Are you really that stupid?"

"I'm not stupid!" Allen said testily.

Kanda gave him a long, hard stare that said he really doubted that. "Don't make me say it."

"Say what?"

Kanda shot him a glare. "_It._ I'm not saying it," he muttered so quietly Allen almost didn't catch it.

"Do you—?"

"_Yes_, damnit." Kanda looked torn between punching something and hiding under the covers. Allen had never seen such a look on the other exorcist's face; he looked angry, as usual, but had a light pink dusting his white cheeks and was refusing to make eye contact.

Allen felt sort of faint. He'd never been in a situation like this before and wasn't entirely sure what to do. It was happening too fast for him to grasp and his head was spinning. "But... what about... that person you're always talking about?"

A brief look of sadness flitted over Kanda's face but it was gone as quickly as it came. "I can't go around chasing someone from the past for the rest of my life, now can I?" It obviously pained him to say this, but he sounded sincere in his gruff way.

"Well—I mean, you shouldn't just give up—"

"I'm not saying I'm giving up. I'm saying that I can't keep living only for that."

Allen was silent for a moment, then he said, "I know you don't really like talking about...well, feelings, but— I can tell it's important to you, and—"

"Shut up, Moyashi." Kanda's voice lacked its usual bite, and instead he just sounded wary. "I know what I'm doing."

"Okay then." Allen looked down at his lap. "Look... what you said. Well, what you implied, I guess... Did you mean it? Or are you just..." He trailed off, glancing over at the camera in the corner.

Kanda reddened a bit and seemed to struggle to find words. "No."

"You didn't mean it?" Allen tried not to sound disappointed.

"No," Kanda mumbled, fidgeting "I did."

"So you meant it?"

"Holy fuck, you're annoying."

"I'm just trying to figure out what the heck is going on! Do you get how freaking confusing this is for me?"

"Trust me, I do. I have no clue why the hell I should want a stupid little moyashi like this, and I hate it."

Allen grinned, feeling strangely light-hearted. "Are you blushing?"

"No," Kanda snapped, turning his head. "It's just the light in my room."

"Whatever you say," Allen said evenly. He couldn't believe how stupidly relieved Kanda's sort-of confession had just made him. Hesitantly, he walked up to him, slowly reaching out to thread their fingers together. The light touch made tingles go up his nerves and he couldn't wipe the stupid grin off his face. Kanda didn't resist, but still didn't make eye contact, glaring holes into the rug.

"You know," Allen said, "I've never seen you smile."

"I don't smile."

"Why not?"

"I've never seen a reason to."

Allen looked at him hopefully. "Do you think... maybe I can give you a reason to?"

Kanda's eyes slowly came up to meet his, and after a long stare, he said quietly, "I don't know, Moyashi. You're pretty annoying."

"Ugh, Kanda!"

Kanda's lips curved up just the slightest bit, but it was enough to make Allen's stomach feel funny. "Well, it's true."

"I hate you." Allen sighed.

"I hate you too."

"So about that whole kiss and make up thing..." Allen said, leaning closer with a smile on his face. "We made up, now do we kiss?"

"No," Kanda murmured, pushing Allen away. His cheeks were pink.

"Why not?" Allen asked, half wanting to tease Kanda for blushing. He kept his mouth shut, though, and instead just took in the unfamiliar but highly amusing sight.

Kanda's eyes drifted past his head and to the corner of the room again. "The camera..."

"You didn't care earlier."

"Yeah, but now..."

"Now it's real?"

Kanda didn't answer, face turning red as he turned his head to the side. Allen took this as a yes and smiled. "It's fine. We don't have to."

"No... I mean, they want us to."

"What they wanted was for us to make up and 'admit our undying love'," Allen said in an imitation of Lavi's voice, rolling his eyes. "They can't keep us locked in here now."

Kanda was silent. Allen grinned. "Unless it's _you_ that wants to?"

"No. Don't be ridiculous." It was such a horrible lie that Allen couldn't help but giggle. Kanda glared. "Are you a fucking girl?"

Allen had half a mind to point out that Kanda was the one acting all fidgety and blushy and he was the one with the long hair and thick eyelashes. Instead, he just took out one of his fake smiles, a polite one that said 'fuck you'. Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Why I want you is beyond me."

"Feeling's mutual."

"This will probably be the most masochistic, headache-inducing and abusive excuse for a relationship ever, you know that, right?"

Allen laughed, leaning his head on Kanda's shoulder. He grinned. "I know."

"Do you even care?"

"Not really."

Kanda 'tch'd. "Didn't think so."

**xxXXxxXXxx**

"I told you so," was the first thing Lavi said when he saw Allen a few hours after he and Kanda had been released from their imprisonment.

Allen made a face at him, turning away from the counter where he was waiting for Jerry's food. "What?"

"Denial. It was straight-up denial."

"Yeah, yeah," Allen muttered. "I know." Despite Lavi's teasing grin, he couldn't help but smile. Being with Kanda was definitely something he was going to have to get used to. He most likely would end up going crazy from it, but didn't really care right now. Everything would turn out.

"Ah, you should have seen Lenalee. I thought she was going to break my eardrums from the copious amounts of squealing she did." He raised his voice to a high-pitched falsetto. "'Oooh, Lavi, did you _see_ that? Kanda blushed! He's so cute!' and '_Lavi_! Allen admitted it!'" He shook his head, grinning. "My ears still hurt."

Allen was blushing dark red. "She didn't actually say that, did she?"

"She sure did. And much, much more."

Allen groaned. "That is such a horrible invasion of privacy..."

"You and Lenalee are sick," a voice muttered behind them. Lavi and Allen looked back to see the ever bad-tempered Kanda glowering at them.

"Yeah," Allen agreed. He cleared his throat, blushing again, and asked, "Um... how much did you guys overhear?"

Kanda suddenly looked ready to murder. He looked at Lavi. "Yeah... how much?"

Lavi grinned. "Oh, not much."

"That's not a good enough answer," Allen said.

"Well, Allen, I can honestly say I didn't think you could scream so much."

Allen turned red all the way up to the tips of his ears. His mouth formed words soundlessly and he shut his eyes. "Y-you... you listened..."

Kanda let out a low growl, face turning the same shade as Allen's. "You _said_ you would _turn it off_."

Lavi grinned even wider. "I did. I'm not enough of a pervert to watch you guys have sex, come on now. I just wanted to see if my suspicions were right." He looked at the shade of red his friends were sporting and said, "Which clearly, they were."

Allen looked like he wanted the ground to eat him up. He buried his face in his hands. "Oh my god. Oh my _god_ this is so _embarrassing_."

"It's only natural." Lavi snickered. "Seriously, though, mind if I join in next time?"

"_Lavi!"_

"Do you have a death wish?"

"No, seriously! You can't hog the bean sprouts all to yourself~!"

"Run," Kanda said calmly, reaching for Mugen, which Komui had returned to him. "If you want to live, Lavi, I suggest you start _now_."

"How are you going to catch me?"

Kanda glared venomously at him. "I'm going to run, fucktard."

"Huh. I'm surprised you can even walk."

"What are you saying?" Kanda growled.

"Well, let's just say I know Allen wasn't the only one who took it, if you know what I mean."

"You...how..." Allen was whispering, looking dangerously close to fainting. Kanda looked at him, alarmed, as though he wanted to steady him but was too awkward to do so.

"About turning off the camera? I was lying. Lenalee left, but heck, I wasn't gonna turn down free porn. Nice tattoo, by the way, Yu."

Allen passed out. Kanda turned white as a sheet. Lavi grinned wickedly and ran away as fast as he could. He heard Kanda screech in humiliated outrage.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!"

Now would probably be a good idea to go to Komui and get a mission as far away as possible, Lavi mused. He looked back to see an absolutely furious Kanda gaining on him. He picked up the pace. "Yupp," he said to himself. "Antarctica sounds good."

**Lol fail ending /shot**

**Well anyways, that was quite eventful and rushed. Idk. First attempt at Yullen ever. Kanda's really hard to write because he's such an asshole. I love him, though... Not sure how I did. He's so OOC probably. Well PHOOEY I SAY.**

**I quite enjoyed Lavi though, hahaha... Ah Lavi will you marry me? No? Oh. Well then.**

**Well. My writing sucks, I am a sad panda. Imma go eat some two bite brownies. BE JELLY. Also I think I will go outside, maybe fresh air will soothe my messed up lungs?**

**Lemme know what ya thought, please :D Except don't be mean, or I might cry D':**


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